My heart is with you brother. I know the frustration you feel. Though it seems impossible, I am a 6 time cancer survivor including surviving 2 bouts with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and a bout with bladder cancer. As a former pastor I have held the hand of many dying friends. But i have witnessed a young lady totally healed of cystic fibrosis and other healings and I am still kicking. We cannot explain it fully but God is here in the midst of the chaos. We pray for endurance to hold fast to our God of hope who Himself has to endure the accusations of those like Queer Kari who blame Him when He has done all His eternal purpose allows but in the end He will provide all the answers.